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 Sinclairification by Grant Sinclair

A moment of Bliss

22 Apr 2009

In the world of Travel Photography, you’re lucky to have a moment of bliss.  Maybe the clouds break at the right moment, or the rain stops just before you go out to take pictures, or the train is empty, or you get a hotel room with no neighbors on both sides.  This is why we travel and take pictures; for these moments.  It makes it all worthwhile; the long bus rides, the endless waiting in airports, the dodgy food, the inclement weather, the surly customs and immigrations agents.  We endure it all for that one moment where things line up and work just right.  Usually we have to search for these moments but sometimes they come to you and are completely unrelated, like golf club you piss into.

This was brought to my attention recently and it can not go without commentary.  Not related to travel or photography, but relevant to total awesomeness, it’s the…never mind, have a look for yourself:

I can say without hyperbole that the "UroClub" is the GREATEST INVENTION IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND.

Honestly, who wouldn't want to pee in the handle of a golf club? And, to make matters more interesting, who wouldn’t want to carry around a pee-filled golf club with you for the rest of the day. Don't forget to empty it at the end of your round!

Does one empty it after use on the course, or wait until later? Because you would hate to have to use that club - as a golf club - later, only to have the cap pop off mid-swing and...eww.

But does it really function as a golf club? Because if so, how good a club is it? You know the handle is empty (most of the time) and on the web site they sell it for the low low price of $25. That's gotta be some quality golf equipment there.

The irony of the whole thing is the product is supposed to encourage discretion, yet it says "UroClub" RIGHT ON THE SHAFT. Why? Are they afraid you'll try to pee in one of the other clubs in your bag?

I could go on - and I will - Is there a protocol between golfers to use the UroClub? Can they share or is that unacceptable? Also, wouldn't someone wonder why you have two seven irons? "Hey, why are there two of the same..." (looks at club shaft emblazoned with "UroClub") ... "Oh.  Gross."

And where's UroClub for ladies? THAT would be an exercise in discretion.

Seriously, you can't make up this stuff.

So where’s our portable urinal, photographers?  Where’s the UroLens?

I imagine the advert would look or sound something like this:

“Are you too busy taking pictures to use the bathroom?  The UroLens is for you!  Now you can discreetly relieve yourself in public and people will think you’re just checking out your lens!

Perfect for:

- Sports events

- Weddings

- Brisses

- Mardi Gras

- New ThanXmas celebrations

- Funerals

Or any other photo-appropriate place!  Yes, if you have to go, but can’t, well go, imagine what the UroLens can do for you in these situations:

“Do you, Englebert, take this woman…”

“You’re going to cut off the tip of his what?”

“Look at me, everyone!  Happy Mardi Gras!”

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to remember Englebert, who left this Earth when he was crushed by a Mardi Gras float…”

Yes, if it’s okay to take pictures, it’s okay to use the UroLens.  Now available in wide angle for ladies.  Available nowhere, ever.


© 2009

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